I Launder Therefore I Am (entitled to a cocktail)

Screaming Housewife With Steam Iron

One day last week, while reflectively mopping, I said to my husband:

“I feel like I need more purpose in my life…”

My hubby, who’d just gotten out of the shower and was rummaging through his dresser drawers, replied:

I just need some socks…”

So there you have it: missing socks, a quest for purpose and a real-life example of a couple communicating.

So where do I go from here?  I could contemplate my need for purpose and deeper meaning in life but surely that’d be better done in a private journal.  I could assess communication within male/female relationships, but that’d be a massive topic and therefore more effectively explored in a book, entitled: Couple Talk: Absent Socks and the Meaning of Life (or maybe not).

I think I’ll turn my focus, instead, to the exhilarating subject of socks and the ever-so-important role of Launderer…

Laundry is my area of specialty at our house.  Why? You ask. Well, because I’m a laundering goddess, of course. Well, not really, it’s more like my husband doesn’t want anything to do with the laundering process and that’s ok with me, most of the time. As long as he keeps on shoveling the snow outside, I can accept the role of Launderer.

In case you were wondering…   when it comes to sorting the dirty laundry I do so in the following categories: whites, lights, brights, darks, blacks and pinks (yes, it’s an entire load of its own). I then fill and empty the washing machine and the dryer, I reluctantly iron a few things, I fold and I put everything away. I keep my family freshly dressed from head to ankle, faithfully, but sometimes we run a little short on socks…

The case of the absent socks really is an ongoing mystery- an endless conundrum! Who is stealing our socks? Is this someone’s idea of a sick joke?  There are more lone socks at our house than in the average home. Currently, there are about 52 mismatched socks sitting in a bag. How? Why?

I’ve discovered that sometimes socks find their way into the toy boxes and that some of them have even been transformed into farm animals! Thanks Phoebe Gilman. There are also times when a sock loses its partner for a while but gets thrown out before the two can be reunited.  Basically, the sock that was originally lost gets found only to learn that its mate has been discarded. It’s a hapless turn of events.

I’m starting to think that the mystery of the absent socks is destined to remain unsolved.  And, you know what, I’m okay with that. For now, I’ll admit defeat in the sock department of life.  Besides, when it comes to laundry, my whites are pretty damn white and that is something. Right?! Or is it….

I launder therefore I am.  And within this meaningful role, I shine but I am also shamed. I can accept this because I know that when it comes to martini making, everyone can shine without shame. After all, every laundering lady deserves a cocktail! Here is how you can make your very own Dirty Laundry Martini…

The Dirty Laundry Martini

image

Ingredients:

1.5 oz. gin

0.5 oz. Triple Sec

1.5 oz. lemonade

2 basil leaves

1 orange

2 tsp. of sugar

Method:

  1. Using a slice of orange, wet the rim of the martini glass.
  2. Pour sugar on a plate, tip the martini glass upside down on the plate and spin until the glass has a fully sugared rim.
  3. In a metal shaker, place ice, vodka or gin, Triple Sec, lemonade and 1 torn basil leaf.
  4. Squeeze in the juice of 2 orange slices,
  5. Shake, shake, shake and strain into the martini glass.
  6. Garnish with a slice of orange and set free a little basil leaf, to float on top.

Toast to clean laundry, bare feet and lonely socks.

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5 thoughts on “I Launder Therefore I Am (entitled to a cocktail)

  1. Pingback: The Sunday Showcase: Best of the Week In Blog | A Game of Diapers

  2. Couple Talk: Absent Socks and the Meaning of Life… we should go in on that one together. Or we could produce a version of Romeo and Juliet. The star crossed lovers… who are socks.

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