An Ode to Sleeping In    

The morning is here

I’m in bed, without space,

surrounded by littles

with a foot in my face

Now my neck is all crooked

I’ve just looked at the clock

It’s not even 7!

Sleep in? What a crock.

 

Off to the Kid-Spa

The dishes are clean

And so’s the garage

I think it’s ‘bout time

I get a massage

So off to the spa,

my mom-ass will go

Where the staff are all cute

but the service is slow

And sometimes they bicker

and argue and whine

But it’s only a dollar

So it’s still worth my time.

Award Winning Mom
The laundry is in
Got the kids out the door
The house is a mess
Stuff all over the floor
I tidy it quickly
Like a bat out of hell…
So efficient, I am
But I know you can tell
Then off to the grocery store
I do go
Like a squirrel on crack
Ain’t no time to be slow
I get to the check out
Thinkin’ I deserve an award
But then… oh shit
I forgot my card

A Couch Time Poem

I cleaned out the car

and I cut the grass

Now I’m going to plant my ass

But oh, just wait…

It isn’t time

Must feed the kids before the wine