The “Solo Date” Promise

The Promise

Promise to partake in a simple pleasure at least once a week. Like a solo date, with yourself! Promise to do this with the intention of enjoying quality time in your own company and, of course, to take a break from it all. Think of it as your time to reconnect with yourself.

Choosing your Pleasure

When it comes to deciding what to do, choose something that makes you feel peaceful or energized or happy or indulged- whatever you’re in the mood for. It can be different each time or it can be the same, like a little tradition that you share with yourself. Maybe it’s a bit of time with a cup of tea and a magazine. Or perhaps it’s a bubble bath and glass of wine. Maybe it’s a movie night or a therapeutic browse at your favourite store. You could always curl up with a cozy blanket and a crossword puzzle. Or maybe you’d like to try your hand at story writing. You could go for a nice walk or take a trip to a coffee shop- just you and your book. You could give yourself a manicure or do a hot oil treatment on your hair. It doesn’t really matter what you choose to do as long as it’s something that’s just for you and yourself to enjoy –preferably uninterrupted.  (Easier said than done, I know).

Living the Dream

Choose your simple pleasure and make it happen. No excuses! Think of it as a very important appointment with yourself. Remember there’ll never be the perfect time when you’ve got everything done. You’ll just have to seize the moment. Or schedule it in, if that works for you. If things get really chaotic, and you can feel your solo date plans slipping away, adjust. Commit to a shorter, less indulgent, (better than nothing) date like a 5 minute chill, whereby you take a blanket, light a candle, and just lay there, for 5 minutes of quiet. (It’s the solo date version of spooning). Just sneak away and do this.You may end up with a 1 minute personal spooning session and you may hit the jackpot and get 10 whole minutes, alone.

Another way to create some date time (in a pinch) is to take something that you already do, like shower, and treat it differently. As you step into the shower, pretend you’re at the spa. Use some nice products, stay in a bit longer, and if a little person turns up at the shower door-simply pretend you can’t see or hear them …

Keep aiming for genuine date time for yourself, though, and do so as often as possible. We all deserve to spend some time in our own company, to reconnect and rejuvenate. Who knows, we may even get to know ourselves better; one solo date at a time.

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Motherhood May Cause Drowsiness

With a downward facing dog, and a fart, we were off! Destination: Crazy Town.

At some point last night, our king-sized mattress exceeded its capacity of one additional guest. I ended up in my middle daughter’s bed and she in mine. Some might say we need to insist on better boundaries or that we should lay down the rules of sleep etiquette. Personally, I don’t view any of it as a problem. It’s not every night that we have company in our beds.

Sometimes, we get a full night of peace. Other times, we have sleep talkers and sleep walkers and bad dreams. Often, we luck out and get a little snuggler first thing in the morning.

The fact is, sleep gets interrupted. It’s part of parenthood. And, my husband and I have come to accept it.

But one thing we can’t seem to accept is that a night, in a hotel room, as a family of five, just doesn’t work. We don’t seem to learn. And every time we give it a shot, without fail; it all goes to hell.

At home, we have space and doors. If silliness happens, we can utilize those doors and the space. We can even play musical beds if need be. At home we can go to sleep when we are ready to…

But, in a hotel room, we become our youngest daughter’s captives…

I wrote about one of those nights, in Crazy Town. It happened at an airport hotel last year.

“It was our final night, after a busy few weeks visiting friends and family in the UK. Hubby had booked a hotel room at the Manchester airport. The idea was that not only would it make our early morning departure a bit less early but it would also be a nice way for the five of us to wind down after a very sociable few weeks.

The kids would have a bubble bath. We’d order room service and watch a movie. Best of all, we’d get a good night’s sleep and be rested and ready for our early start in the morning and the long day ahead.

This was the plan anyway. And this is likely how it would’ve gone down had Mini (age 4) not fallen asleep in the car on the way to the hotel…”

Motherhood May Cause Drowsiness

You can read about my tale of survival (which began with a downward facing dog and a fart) in the 2nd Edition of Motherhood May Cause Drowsiness. Available on Amazon.ca, Amazon.co.uk and at Amazon.com.