I’ve Taken a New Lover …

“Just the two of us. We can make it if we try. Just the two of us. You and I…. “

I’ve got a new lover in my life.

She’s a dress. But, not just any old dress. Long and flowing, she wraps herself around me, gently; like a temperate pool’s caress on the booty of a skinny dipper.

Whenever I wear her, I feel fresh and full of life. Her effects, at times, transcend me to places of an almost spiritual nature. I honestly don’t think anything could be more feminine and uplifting than she.

Heavenly. She is so damn heavenly. And I feel grateful to have discovered her on a lonely sales rack last month.

Her under layer, the finest of jersey. Her outer, a raw silk that bellows when I walk.

My girlfriends see her beauty and have caressed her, enviously. But my husband, on the other hand,  doesn’t get it. He just doesn’t appreciate her…

To read more about this love triangle, head over to BLUNTmoms.

If you’ve chuckled a bit, you may also enjoy reading about last year’s sweatpants love affair. (A tale of too much too soon.) Click here.

Today, I’m Turning Forty

Today, I’m turning forty!

And it’s kind of a big deal

Yet at the same time, it’s not really

Though it feels a bit surreal

Because forty year-olds are middle-aged

So that means I am, too

No longer am I young

But… neither are my crew!

My pals, they age along with me

Like our friendships, our love, and our wine

And with girlfriends, as fabulous as they are

Turning forty feels almost sublime

Plus, with age comes newfound wisdom

An acceptance that feels divine

So what if my thighs are flabby?

Some other parts are doin’ just fine

Yes, my body is aging

And cool shoes hurt my feet

And a “Big Night” leaves me couch-bound

All day, unable to eat

And my kids, they try my patience

But they also do things that amaze

I wouldn’t go back to my twenties

Not back to the freedom days

In those days I was restless

And questioning what will be

And now, I have more answers

And with that, I feel quite free

Besides, I’ve learned some things

On that journey from my youth

Like, when making a dirty martini

You really don’t need vermouth

And when it comes to taking pictures

Anyone can look twenty-two

It’s all about the lighting, really

Plus the angle, and the hue

But the fact is, there’s more important things

Than how cool we look in pics

Like, are we surrounded by good people?

Or are we spending our time with dicks?

It’s these and other probing questions

That turning forty makes us ponder

It’s when the midlife crisis hits

And people choose to wander

But, I’m not going anywhere

My ass is firmly planted

I’m right where I want to be

Celebrating the forty years I’ve been granted

pic w martini

The impression of youthful skin is brought to you by Haas Filter in Pic Collage. Do I look twenty-two?

Cheers to health, family, and friendship. And, of course, to the big 4-0!

And, hey, why not buy our book while you’re here! It is my birthday, after all, and nothing would make me happier than knowing you’ve ordered your very own copy!

37 tales from 37 moms/writers plus 37 easy-to-make martinis! You can’t go wrong.

We promise you’ll laugh, cry, and feel connected to other moms who are a lot like you.

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