Damn you, Fuller House, for Making Me the A**hole!  

 

 

 

Why, Fuller House?

WHY?!

We were all so excited about your arrival! After all, we’d been watching your old ‘90s re-runs for months in anticipation of your reunion.

And then, the moment arrived.

“Mom! MOM! Fuller House is here!” My middle daughter shouted with excitement.

So, of course, we made popcorn and we got out the chocolate and the candy.

We. Were. Ready.

All cuddled up together, on the couch, we pressed: PLAY.

With the exception of Uncle Jesse’s semen joke, and the fact that Stephanie’s boobs threatened to break free at any moment, your first episode was fine, I guess…

I liked it, because I wanted to like it. And we carried on watching.

But, by episode three, the ladies, of your G-rated show, were hitting a nightclub. “Bar Star” Kimmy, DJ (+ her genuinely impressive legs and cleavage) and Steph (who expertly modeled to my 6 and 8-year-old girls how to get drinks without spending a dime) danced the night away, fueled by tequila, with letchy men they’d just met.

During this episode, Kimmy shows my daughters what to do if you face your cheating, soon-to-be ex husband. You start by dancing seductively with him, of course! Until his new, younger, girlfriend arrives and insults you. You then must show your ex, and his young lover, that you’ve still got it! So, obviously, you do a lesbian dance, to I’ve Had the Time of My Life, with your BFF. BOOM take that Fernando! “Nobody puts the Gibbler in the corner!”

I mean, this is just what every 6 year-old girl needs to be watching on a Friday night while munching popcorn in her Hello Kitty pajamas, right?

So, thanks Fuller House. Thanks a lot. Because now, I’m the asshole that has to pull the plug on your G-rated family show.

I’m the jerk here, who is currently being given the stink eye by my middle daughter, who I simply want to shelter from at least some of the constant barrage of anti-feminist, overly-sexualized messages that the media presents daily. I really feel like we, as parents, have become too complacent and too relaxed with what we accept as “the norm.” I absolutely include myself in this statement! There are lots of times when the kids have the TV on and I’m not in there, therefore not fully aware of what they’re watching. I simply put my trust in the idea that it’s a G-rated show. Yet, so often these shows are filled with messages of a shallow and materialistic nature.

I am not always hardcore like this but Fuller House, in particular episode three, brought out my protective side. The side that questions the constant onslaught of unhealthy messages being fed to our young boys and girls. The side that is pissed off by how often such messages objectify women and belittle their self-worth. The feminist side of me, that my mother modeled, and that I hope to pass on to my daughters.

Someday, I will tell my daughters to always have a purse with their own money in it, and to buy your own drinks. But now is not the time!

Someday, I’ll happily suggest that an outfit for a night out might feature a bit of cleavage OR a bit of leg, in my old school opinion. Not both. But now is not the time!

Someday, I’ll explain that when someone cheats on you again and again, you don’t go back to him because if a person loves you, if he truly cherishes you as you deserve to be cherished, then he wouldn’t cheat on you in the first place. But now is not the time!

Someday, this show might be appropriate for my daughters to watch. But now is absolutely not the time!

So thanks, Fuller House, for making me the asshole…

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Agenda ~Moms’ Martini Getaway, Haliburton Highlands

 

MOMS' MARTINIGETAWAY (1)

PRICE of $420.47 per person includes the list below! with the exception of 3 items with a ** ($)

  • 10% service and 13% HST are IN the total price, NOT on top of it!
  • A copy of Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!
  • A coupon for a martini or mocktini of your choice, used anytime
  • Hors d’oeuvres before dinner served both evenings
  • Two breakfasts chosen from a full hot choice menu
  • One lunch chosen form a two choice menu served with soup & salad
  • Two dinners chosen from a three course “Chef’s Choice” menu; served with a choice of a glass of house wine, a pop or a juice.
  • Coffee, Tea, Water & Punch in the main building from 8AM – 12AM
  • Reading & Martini Sipping Session with Shannon Day (a book reading and mom-chat with the opportunity to order some of the **($)martinis from the book)
  • Saturday morning Zumba class & Sunday morning Yoga class with the wonderful “Suzanne”
  • A Guided “Mindful Hike” with incredible life coach & adventurer ‘Johnny Waite’
  • Two nights of shared accommodation with other great moms. (2 per room, 3-4 per chalet; these will be worked out once we know how many are coming! If you want to share with someone specific let us know!)
  • **($)Massages are available from different travelling RMT’s. Please contact the inn to help you book one!!
  • **($)Cash bar open for any type of drink purchase 11AM – 12AM daily
  • Contact The Bonnie View Inn to book: bonnieview.inn@sympatico.ca / 1-800-461-0347

 

 

MOMS’ MARTINI GETAWAY ~ WEEKEND AGENDA

Friday April 8th

3:00- 5:00 PM         Check- In (receive your book and a welcome TGIF  martini/mocktini)

6:00 to 7:00 PM      Meet & Greet in the Lounge.  (Hors d’oeuvres. Mingle. Cash bar.)

7:00 – 8:00 PM       Dinner is served

9:30 – 12:00 AM     Moms’ Social (Music. Games. Martinis. Wine. Cash bar)

 

Saturday April 9th

8:15 – 9:30 AM       Breakfast is served

9:30-10:30 AM        Zumba in the lounge with ‘Suzanne’

11:00-12:30 PM       Guided Mindful Hike (or book a massage)

1:00 PM                  Lunch is served

2:00-4:00  PM       Free time (Hike. Chill. Read. Have a Massage.)

4:00 – 5:30 PM        Martinis & Motherhood Reading & Fun Mom Chats + the chance to order some of the martinis from the book ie. The Pelvic Floor Martini and the Motherhood Paradise.

6:00– 7:00 PM        Meet & Greet in the Lounge.  (Hors d’oeuvres. Mingle. Cash bar.)

7:00 – 8:00 PM       Dinner is served

9:30 – 12:00 AM     Moms’ Social (Music. Games. Martinis. Wine. Cash Bar)

 

Sunday April 10th 

8:15 – 9:30 AM       Breakfast is served

9:30 – 10:30 AM     Yoga in the lounge with “Suzanne’

11:30 AM                Check-Out

 

 

Contact The Bonnie View Inn to book: bonnieview.inn@sympatico.ca / 1-800-461-0347

 

 

 

About Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!

Final Book Cover

 

Stories that inspire, entertain, and make you laugh ’til you pee. Plus martinis! And not just any-old-martinis—these ones were designed just for moms!

These tales of Wonder, Woe and WTF?! share a little glimpse into the lives of other moms, who are a lot like you. Through their tales, we’re reminded to savour the little things (like capturing extra morning snuggles), to let go of the stresses (they won’t be in that unfortunate phase forever), and to be grateful for the laughs that the unexpected brings (because laughing is better than crying and it may be the only workout our abs get!).

So shake up an easy-to-make martini, put your feet up (quickly, before the kids find you) and join us on our journey as we toast to the many clink-worthy moments that motherhood brings.

Huffington Post Book Review, by Sarah Cottrell

Erica Ehm’s Yummy Mummy Book Review, by Jen Warman

 

About The Bonnie View Inn

Bonnie view 2.jpg

The Bonnie View Inn is a small family-owned and operated 28-room country inn nestled in the Haliburton Highlands on beautiful Lake Kashagawigamog, only an 8-minute drive from village shopping. Open all year round catering to every season.

Gourmet dinners are prepared by our gold ribbon chef and served in our lakeview, fireside, candle lit dining room with a full menu to choose from. A traditional full breakfast is a delicious delight on any morning. Enjoy wonderful service with a smile.

There is a cozy licensed non-smoking lounge with a fireplace, pool table and board games beside the dining room. Relax on a cold day with a hot drink in the over-sized chairs by the roaring fire in the winter or escape the outside heat with the central air conditioning on a hot summer day…

www.bonnieviewinn 

 

 About Shannon Day

Head Shot for BIO

 

When she’s not spooning her kids on the couch or complaining about the crunchiness of the kitchen floor, former bartender-turned-teacher Shannon Day can be found cocktail-shaking and story-making over at her site, Martinis & Motherhood. There, she ponders the meaning of life, while poking fun at her handsome British hubby. Shannon is co-author and editor of Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?! She is a regular contributor to BLUNTmoms, and her writing can be found in various online publications including Mamapedia, The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Mamalode, Pregnant Chicken, and Sweatpants& Coffee. Connect with Shannon on Facebook.

Contact The Bonnie View Inn to book: bonnieview.inn@sympatico.ca / 1-800-461-0347

 

 

Moms’ Martini Getaway, Haliburton Highlands

MOMS' MARTINIGETAWAY (1)

I have an exciting announcement to make! On Friday April 8th until Sunday the 10th, we (Martinis & Motherhood) will be hosting/partaking in a fun-filled, rejuvenating, martini-sipping weekend at Bonnie View Inn, in the beautiful Haliburton Highlands!

And, of course, you’re invited to join us!

There will be yoga, Zumba, and hiking. There will be eating, drinking, and laughing. There will be a book reading/talk and the chance to order some of the martinis from Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!  (Will you go for The Pelvic Floor Martini, The Shit-Storm or The Motherhood Paradise?) There will also be mocktinis and other drinks to suit your fancy. For a look at the planned weekend agenda, click here: What’s On?  Continue reading

Girl Drama & A Helicopter Mama

 

helicopter meme

 

tuka tuka tuka tuka tuka tuka tukA tuKA tUKA TUKA TUKA TUKA TUKA TUKA TUKA! 

Do you hear that? That’s me, helicoptering in. I’m flying low here, binoculars at the ready. I just can’t seem to help myself! I’m not always a helicopter parent, by the way. It’s just that lately I’ve been feeling compelled to keep a watchful eye over my middle daughter, Zed.

It seems things are getting a tad rocky on the friendship front. She and her girlfriends just aren’t as close and loyal to one another, as they once were. It’s bound to happen, I guess.

They’re testing out the friendships’ boundaries, through trial and error. I’m pretty sure unappealing feelings like jealousy and insecurity have been creeping in. Hormones may even be playing a part, here. Words (and silence) are being used as weapons and also as shields. They aren’t being as nice to each other as they once were and they’ve been falling out for weeks.

But this is how kids grow and learn. This is how kids develop their strength of character, right? I know… but being human (especially a female human) can be complex at times. And I feel for my little Zed as she faces all this complication, alongside her friends.

I know how it is. I get it! I’ve been a little girl, and a bossy one to boot. I understand that all of this is a process that they need to navigate through. But it’s hard not to hover above, in my mom-copter!

This morning, at school drop-off, a few pals, who up until recently would have waited for Zed, didn’t wait. Instead they pretended not to see us and they just walked by, heads tilted in the opposite direction.

“That’s not very nice.” I’d said, loudly enough for the girls to hear. “You can walk with your sisters, Zed,” I added. So, that’s what she did.

I probably should have kept my mouth shut, but I didn’t.

It’s just that Zed is a thoughtful, kindhearted kid by nature. This is not to say that she hasn’t taken part in some of the current drama. I’m sure she has. But, most often, she treats people well and she likes to keep the peace (she is the middle child, after all). She’s a sweet girl and it’s hard to see her go through this. Though I know she’ll be okay.

So, I think it’d be best if, from now on, I fly my copter a wee bit higher. Zed and her friends will navigate through these growing pains in their own time, they don’t need me hovering around. But first, before I fly off into the distance to find the perfect look-out, I need to make a few calls to the other moms.

 

 

 

Did you know that Shannon Day and 36 other fab writers have created a book? Well, it’s actually a martini guide too. If you like funny, ridiculous, and heartstring-tugging stories of motherhood (+ easy-to-make martini & mocktini recipes) then you’ll love Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!  Available now on Amazon.

 

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Sweet Kisses (A Kiss & Tell + Martini Recipe)

 

Beauty Young Woman Blowing Hearts from her Hands. St. Valentines

Feel the power!

Hey there, Sweet Lips. Yes, I’m talking to you! When was the last time those lovely lips of yours felt the gorgeously, sweet; heart-melting bliss of a kiss?  For me, it was this morning. My youngest daughter planted one on me, while I slept. It was meant to be the kiss of a princess and, well, I guess that made me the queen or perhaps I was supposed to be the prince?

Who knows what the intentions were. But, for that simple moment in time (the moment before we succumbed to our usual morning routine), I was the queen; a smiling, happy queen.

And then, at the breakfast table, we argued about why Nutella, in a bowl, is not an acceptable meal choice and why putting your foot on your sister’s plate is not a cool thing to do. (Even under the guise of Table Yoga). And, just like that, the sweetness of our morning’s start got overshadowed by the battles-at-hand.

Yet, the power of the kiss was still there! It was still emanating its simple message–though hard to see through the angry growls and furrowed brows.

Besides, a new kiss would surely take its place again sometime soon.

Because even if hugs, kisses, smiles, and moments of connection are followed by a toddler meltdown, a sibling showdown, or a battle of wills; those sweet, little acts of affection have real power. They have the power to ground us, in the moment that we’re in, and remind us of what really matters.

And what really matters is: LOVE.

We are privileged to have it and to be able to share it with our kids and our partners, our family and our friends.

So, in honour of those sweet (and oh-so-powerful) kisses, I present: The Sweet Kisses Martini.

 

Sweet Kisses Martini 3

 

For moms who give and receive the sweetest of kisses.

 

 

What you’ll need:

  • 2 oz. of vodka
  • 1 oz. of passion fruit liqueur
  • 1 oz. of cranberry juice
  • 2 slices of lime (one for garnish)

Method:

  1. Fill a metal shaker with ice and add the above ingredients, including the juice of one large lime slice.
  2. Shake, shake, shake your booty and your shaker.
  3. Strain the beautiful mixture into your martini glass of choice.
  4. Garnish with a lime (and a kiss).

 

Toast: to sweet kisses, to hits and misses, and to love.

 

Did you know that Shannon Day and 36 other fab writers have created a book? Well, it’s actually a martini guide too. If you like funny, ridiculous, and heartstring-tugging stories of motherhood (+ easy-to-make martini & mocktini recipes) then you’ll love Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!  Available now on Amazon.

 

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