An Ode to Parenthood…

An Ode to Parenthood

 

Becoming a parent is…
the end and the beginning
We worry and we think a lot
And, yes, sometimes we’re winning

And other times we’re losing track
Of time and all our sanity
But parenthood is worth the shift
Overrated was our vanity

Kids simplify perspectives
Yet they also complicate things
They show us new paths and doorways
Make us feel like servants & kings

Our kids, they are so funny
They make us lol
They mess and fight and act like fools
At times, they really smell

But our love for them’s colossal
The most abundant kind
A love so deep and endless
So pure and unrefined

Parenthood’s a paradox
Full of contradiction
Sometimes the flow is easy
Sometimes it’s filled with friction

Yet always there are moments
of greatness that prevail,
A kiss, a hug, a thumbs up
Then out the door, they sail

They’re ours for just these moments
Before we know it, they’ll be gone
So hold tight through the rapids
Of the parenthood ride you’re on

Because having kids is priceless,
a wonderful thing indeed
A privilege, a pleasure
the reason you just laughed & peed

So “Cheers to our children,
To the Wonder and the Woe,
And of course to all the WTF?!
For through it all, we grow!”

Written by: Shannon Day

 

Did you know that Shannon Day and 36 other fab writers have created a book? Well, it’s actually a martini guide too. If you like funny, ridiculous, and heartstring-tugging stories of motherhood (+ easy-to-make martini & mocktini recipes) then you’ll love Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!  Available now on Amazon.

Final Book Cover

 

 

 

 

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Dried Apricots Saved My Ass

Happy woman jumping in golden wheat

Joan rediscovered what it felt like to smile and laugh every day. Not just once a week…

“If you want to visit the loo for a number two, eat dried apricots.” – Joan

These simple—yet wise, and oh so powerful—words of wisdom were passed down to me by an elderly friend of the family. She, too, had suffered the traumatic (and sometimes dire) effects of chronic constipation.

She’d known what it felt like to be anal retentive, literally. And she had believed herself to be a grumpy person by nature. But really . . . it was just poo. That uptight sourpuss was actually a peaceful ray of sunshine, stifled by the storm clouds of her predicament. And when Joan realized the power of dried apricots, she rediscovered what it felt like to smile and laugh every day. Not just once a week.

Such a jolly old gal, she is.

Joan is very candid and open, as well. So I chatted with her about my own sufferings in the “shit department” of life. She wasn’t at all surprised when I shared with her the details of a 12 day, fecal-free, bender (that happened back in ’02). The kids had simply refused to be dropped off at the pool! Instead, they gathered together, to form one giant kid—a kid that eventually, through sweat and tears made its debut with a glute-splashing cannonball of mammoth proportions. This ordeal was like a heads up for me (and not in a turtle head kinda way). Oh no! I had been given a sneak peek into what it would actually feel like to give birth . . .

Years later, in the hours leading up to the delivery of my first baby, I drew strength from my past experiences. If I could survive the mammoth poo of ’02, I could do this. And I did!

I’m happy to report that the days of stubborn turds are history now. No longer do I writhe in pain, or pass on seconds because I barely had room for firsts. No way! My digestion knows new joys. And I owe thanks for this, and for the many carefree smiles, to Joan and her dried apricot advice.

 

*Note* – Some of this is utter BS and some of it is based on truth. It has been written for the purpose of “shits and giggles.”

 

This post originally appeared on the fabulous In The Powder Room.