Girl Drama & A Helicopter Mama

 

helicopter meme

 

tuka tuka tuka tuka tuka tuka tukA tuKA tUKA TUKA TUKA TUKA TUKA TUKA TUKA! 

Do you hear that? That’s me, helicoptering in. I’m flying low here, binoculars at the ready. I just can’t seem to help myself! I’m not always a helicopter parent, by the way. It’s just that lately I’ve been feeling compelled to keep a watchful eye over my middle daughter, Zed.

It seems things are getting a tad rocky on the friendship front. She and her girlfriends just aren’t as close and loyal to one another, as they once were. It’s bound to happen, I guess.

They’re testing out the friendships’ boundaries, through trial and error. I’m pretty sure unappealing feelings like jealousy and insecurity have been creeping in. Hormones may even be playing a part, here. Words (and silence) are being used as weapons and also as shields. They aren’t being as nice to each other as they once were and they’ve been falling out for weeks.

But this is how kids grow and learn. This is how kids develop their strength of character, right? I know… but being human (especially a female human) can be complex at times. And I feel for my little Zed as she faces all this complication, alongside her friends.

I know how it is. I get it! I’ve been a little girl, and a bossy one to boot. I understand that all of this is a process that they need to navigate through. But it’s hard not to hover above, in my mom-copter!

This morning, at school drop-off, a few pals, who up until recently would have waited for Zed, didn’t wait. Instead they pretended not to see us and they just walked by, heads tilted in the opposite direction.

“That’s not very nice.” I’d said, loudly enough for the girls to hear. “You can walk with your sisters, Zed,” I added. So, that’s what she did.

I probably should have kept my mouth shut, but I didn’t.

It’s just that Zed is a thoughtful, kindhearted kid by nature. This is not to say that she hasn’t taken part in some of the current drama. I’m sure she has. But, most often, she treats people well and she likes to keep the peace (she is the middle child, after all). She’s a sweet girl and it’s hard to see her go through this. Though I know she’ll be okay.

So, I think it’d be best if, from now on, I fly my copter a wee bit higher. Zed and her friends will navigate through these growing pains in their own time, they don’t need me hovering around. But first, before I fly off into the distance to find the perfect look-out, I need to make a few calls to the other moms.

 

 

 

Did you know that Shannon Day and 36 other fab writers have created a book? Well, it’s actually a martini guide too. If you like funny, ridiculous, and heartstring-tugging stories of motherhood (+ easy-to-make martini & mocktini recipes) then you’ll love Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!  Available now on Amazon.

 

Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000038_00067]

 

 

Advertisements

Top Five Faves of 2015

Man And Woman At The Bar - Vector Illustration.

Well, it’s has been another fab year of writing and I’d like to say, “Thank you!” for your continued support! It means a lot to me. Here are the top five posts from Martinis and Motherhood for 2015.

5. What Happens in Vegas… 

One of the highest hands in poker a Spades Royal Flush on a red

This post was widely read and, funnily enough, it had ladies googling: “Shannon Day’s Husband” in what I assume was an attempt to see a picture of John! When Mamapedia shared this piece it brought almost 2,000 visitors to my site which was the most I’d seen in one day.

If you missed it, here is the fifth most popular post of 2015: What Happens in Vegas (Reflections of a Non-Jealous Wife).

Continue reading

I’ve Taken a New Lover …

“Just the two of us. We can make it if we try. Just the two of us. You and I…. “

I’ve got a new lover in my life.

She’s a dress. But, not just any old dress. Long and flowing, she wraps herself around me, gently; like a temperate pool’s caress on the booty of a skinny dipper.

Whenever I wear her, I feel fresh and full of life. Her effects, at times, transcend me to places of an almost spiritual nature. I honestly don’t think anything could be more feminine and uplifting than she.

Heavenly. She is so damn heavenly. And I feel grateful to have discovered her on a lonely sales rack last month.

Her under layer, the finest of jersey. Her outer, a raw silk that bellows when I walk.

My girlfriends see her beauty and have caressed her, enviously. But my husband, on the other hand,  doesn’t get it. He just doesn’t appreciate her…

To read more about this love triangle, head over to BLUNTmoms.

If you’ve chuckled a bit, you may also enjoy reading about last year’s sweatpants love affair. (A tale of too much too soon.) Click here.

The Day I Cycled from Niagara to China: A Wine Tour Tale

From Pigs to Pinot

We’ve decided to do a wine tour in Niagara-on-the-Lake and I’m about to get on a bike for the first time in years.

Memories of being on a bicycle in China come to mind.

Our friends have their hearts set on cycling from winery to winery so with a hint of reluctance, we’ve agreed to it.

Like a child first learning to ride, I wobble and sway and then with an unstoppable smile and a genuine concern for my own safety… I’m off!

Off like the wind, not off in a ditch.

The sun is shining and I’m feeling wild and free because I don’t have to worry about the kids. They’re happy at home, doing crafts and having fun with my parents. And also because, riding a bike feels foreign, refreshing and so does the peacefulness of the nature around us.

Our laughter fills the air.

To the wineries we’ll go… Continue reading

What Happens in Vegas … {Reflections of a Non-Jealous Wife}

One of the highest hands in poker a Spades Royal Flush on a red

My husband is hot. Men envy his muscular physique. Women lust after his sexy, chiseled features. Grandmothers make comments like: “all men should look like that.” Even the babysitter goes all shy when he answers the door.

Whenever he strolls along, hand in hand, with our kids, he’s a magnet for admiring glances. You can just imagine what happened, back in the day, when he was adorned with a baby in a papoose. He got oogled and ogled, of course. Because women, of all ages, just love a hot dad.

He knows he’s gorgeous, though. It’s nothing new.

Just last month he was in Vegas for a work convention. After a night out with some colleagues, he went back to his room to find two bikini-clad 20-somethings in the hallway by his door. The girls, part of a bachelorette weekend, were staying in the room across from him.

They invited my husband to join them for a drink. IN THEIR ROOM!

He declined their offer and told them he was married. The one wet-T champion wannabe, responded that she was engaged (to an ever-so lucky man, I must add) and enquired if he was, in fact, happily married…

So, ya. This is my life! Not every minute but sometimes.

It’s beyond my control, though, because the extra attention and the potential temptations simply come with the territory. My husband is a handsome businessman who travels for work. It’s part of his job to be away from home and he certainly can’t stop the fact that he looks amazing in a suit.

Recently, I was telling the Vegas story to a friend. Her response was: “I would hate that. Don’t you ever worry?” I didn’t have to think about my answer, which was: “No, I don’t.”

The fact is, I trust in my instinct. I trust him. I haven’t any reason not to. And upon further contemplation, I have plenty of reasons to…

Let me count the ways:

  1. He had lots of freedom in his younger years to do what he wanted to do. So I figure, he’s been there and done that.
  2. He has a mind of his own and isn’t swayed to do things he doesn’t want to do. I know he’s capable of saying no.
  3. He’s a dedicated dad who prioritizes time with me and the kids. This lets me know that he values our family.
  4. He calls me when he’s away, to make sure the doors are locked and to ask what we ate for dinner. Yes, this is everyday hum drum chat but it tells me that he cares and that he’s thinking of us.
  5. He makes plans for us to go out, just the two of us or with friends. This shows me that he values our relationship.
  6. Sometimes he tells me that I look beautiful which obviously makes me feel… sort of beautiful.
  7. If he’s away, and depending on the time zone, he’ll text or call me to say good night, every night. I don’t actually, ever have to call him. The man is consistent.
  8. When women do put the moves on him, he tells me about it. This makes me feel like I’m “in the know.”
  9. He also buys me chocolate. Yes, choc-o-late! This indicates, without a doubt, that he gets me. Well, let’s not get carried away BUT he knows that I like chocolate and he brings it to me.
  10. And, finally, a subtle (yet fantastic) indicator that we are doin’ ok is, he smacks my butt.  He does this in passing, on a regular basis. Obviously, butt smacking= I want your ass, which is encouraging. Because as long as he wants mine, he’s less likely to want someone else’s. Am I right?

If that fades away, then maybe I’ll start to worry, but until then my husband has my trust.

So, bikini-clad girls, if you happen to be reading this and before you go chasing after my, or anybody else’s faithful, family-loving husband (I know such qualities do tend to make a man even more lust-worthy) there are a few things you should know.  My man is…one of those loud chewers. Seriously, even when his mouth is closed it’s like “NOM NOM NOM!” He also leaves his snot rags all over the house, you do not want to be around during hay fever season. And he has some serious know-it-all tendencies. Like, majorly. Why am I telling you this? Because… the grass surrounding him, isn’t greener. It’s just different.

So, here’s a tip from a non-jealous wife to all the classy ladies: “Tend to your own lawn or find a vacant patch of meadow where you can frolic wild, and free.” You just want a shag, you say?  A fun night? Well, to that, I reply: “a romp in the Vegas hay is nothing compared to sharing a life with an amazing guy like mine.”  And, in order to share a life with a guy like mine, you’ll need more than a bikini and a room key.

 

An Open Letter to the Sweatpants that Almost Ruined my Marriage (Eva is right!)

Young woman at home sitting on modern chair in front of window r

You weren’t my usual type, yet I felt drawn to you at first sight. Your allure was undeniable, and before I knew it, my hands were all over you. Inspecting, caressing, and imagining you on me.  At the thought of all the things we’d do together, I made a decision then and there.  You were coming home with me.

$16.99 later, plus the $100.00 worth of additional and inevitable Target purchases, we exited the store and were homeward bound.

I could hardly wait to get out of my restrictive yoga pants and into you.

The sky was the color of you, grey. Not quite fifty shades of grey, but grey nonetheless.

It was the perfect kind of day for the two of us to share some quality couch time together.  I didn’t know it just then, but you were about to become my favorite mistake.

The moment I slid my legs into you, I knew you were a good fit. You felt like home to me—saggy and baggy in all the right places. I’d never felt so comfortable, so accepted. That moment marked the beginning of a love affair so foreign and all-encompassing that I became blinded for days, as to what was going on (or not going on) around me.

We’d become inseparable.

The moment I woke up, I reached for you… Ok, ok- who am I kidding?  We slept together every night.  I just couldn’t bear to part from you (I did shower, though!). It’s just that you felt so good.

I wasn’t ready to admit it, but the truth was: with you in my life, all other things had fallen to the wayside. My husband was away and, to be frank, I wasn’t even missing him.

It wasn’t until day three, that I started to tap into the adverse effects of our time together. We’d “become one” so quickly that I’d, sort of, lost my bearings. You were hindering my productivity and my connection with my husband.  He had called several times but… I was with you, on the couch and … I couldn’t move!  This needed to change but I felt completely helpless to your lure.

I would verbalize my intentions daily, hoping that would give you hints as to what I needed from you. “I am going to be cleaning this afternoon,” I’d announce each morning, feeling hopeful.  But when the evenings rolled around, I’d be no further ahead.  Still optimistic that you were good for more than just one thing, I’d end the day with plans for a better tomorrow. “What a busy morning I’ll be having,” I’d say, willing it to be true.

I’d wanted so much for you to have my back, for you to support me in the things that I needed to do. But you couldn’t do that, could you? You cared more about your own agenda, which was just being with me, on the couch.

Cracks in our union were starting to show.

And, I admit it- the affair was beginning to feel trashy. Dirty, even.

My daughter’s birthday party was the next day, and having indulged myself over the past days with you, I now had tons to get done around the house. So, I ignored your silent pleas and I went out to cut the grass.  I also decided to drain some rainwater off the pool cover, with a pump that would send the water across the front lawn and out onto the street. The decision to combine these two activities would be one that I’d soon regret. In the short term, anyway.

I was only a few laps into my lawn mowing venture, when a cruel twist of fate landed me on my ass. My foot had slipped in the waterlogged grass and somehow, I ended up with wet slicks of dirt on my left knee and on my right ass cheek. I was up in a flash, though, and with an energy level that you’d most certainly disapprove of, my lazy lover.

So, I finished cutting the grass looking like a lopsided Sasquatch.  I then went immediately back inside to do laundry. It was the first load I’d done all week.

And there it was. A forced separation. I felt naked without you as I squeezed into my yoga pants. Yuck. They felt awful. I was eager to get back into you, where I belonged, yet a little part of me knew that a break would do us both some good.

The dinner hour arrived, and then it was bath and bedtime. After that I vacuumed and dusted, hung up streamers, blew up balloons and filled goody bags. I was in motion again, and it felt pretty great. Many hours went by and, I’m sorry to say, you didn’t even cross my mind.

I’d forgotten about you. And, man, did I ever get a lot done!

We spent the rest of the night, and all of the next day, apart. It was a fun party and, if I’m honest, it wouldn’t have felt right having you there. You’re not really classy enough.

Sorry, but it’s the truth.

We were reacquainted later that night, and though it was good to be together again, something felt different. Had the washing machine rinsed away your appeal? It seems our time apart hadn’t made my heart grow fonder.  I didn’t know how or why, but the fact was, the spark just wasn’t there for me anymore.

The honeymoon period was officially over.  Our short-lived love affair had been a case of too much too soon, I’d say.  It’d been good while it lasted but you need to hear this, my dear sweatpants, you’re too needy! You’re also selfish and indulgent and the fact is: I’ve got shit to do! I’ve got a husband, you know. And a family who needs me. I’ve also got work to do and I just don’t have time for you, right now.

I’m sorry it had to come to this. I really am! But, Eva Mendes is right! Sweatpants cause divorce. With you around, there is no question in my mind, that my husband and I were heading for the big D!

So take heed and beware, ladies, sweatpants are more (much more) than just comfy…

This is an altered version of a piece that was originally published on BLUNTmoms.

From Cocktail Girl to Tipsy Squirrel

 

Female bartender is squeezing orange juice into a cocktail glass

With the clarity of hindsight, I’ve been able to sum up (into 6 stages) what almost appears to be a carefully planned journey! But, I’ll admit, this is not the case.  I am more of a follower of whims and instincts than a planner… 

1. My Foundation

My initial attempt to combine studying with cocktail making went down like a Flaming Sambuca, leaving me with a degree in Journal Writing (instead of a Journalism) and a job as a bartender. But, always one to go with the flow, I quickly concocted a plan B! I got a degree in English and Communications followed by a teaching qualification which became my ticket to travel and work.  From Japan to China, (where I met my British hubby) and then on to England (to be with him), I went.  There, he and I sprouted a family: three little ladies, in fact. The first: a creative dreamer, the second: a future engineer and the little one… well let’s just say she has a flare for the precocious.

2. Relocation

After 10 fantastic years in the UK, I felt it was time to head back to my home: Ontario, Canada. I was able to convince my husband that Canada is, in fact, the Promised Land! As in, it promised to put forth all efforts to freeze off the asses of its residents.  But only for 5 months of the year!  I chose to focus more on the beauty of the other seasons and the low crime rate and friendly atmosphere in the town, where we now reside.

3. Story Creation

Once settled back in Canada, I soon found myself putting to use my degree in Journal Writing. I started my little blog: Martinis & Motherhood, in late 2013.  It was there that I wrote my first piece about parenthood and, for me, it seemed very natural (logical even) to pair my tale with a martini.  It crossed my mind that stories + martinis for moms would be a great book idea…

In 2014, I was lucky enough to become part of the BLUNTmoms writing team where I *met* some amazing, funny, and talented women.  One of whom was Tara Wilson, from Don’t Lick the Deck.

 4. Partner Identification

Tara made me laugh with her quick wit and effortless one liners. Realizing that she and I lived in the same town, meant we were soon meeting “in real life” and her humour and clever ways drew me instantly to her.

I sensed that Tara would make a good partner and that together we could bring to life an awesome book of stories and martinis! Her background in Business and Accounting was the perfect match for my lack of knowledge in all things business and number related.

After a few casual meetings, over coffee and cocktails, I dropped my opportunity bomb on Tara. She loved the concept for the book and the idea of working on it together.

5. A New Vocation

It seemed the creation of a book label was the next logical step. Tara’s casual references to “being distracted by squirrels” in her life, due to the effects of her ADHD, coupled with my pre-disposition for martini-making, made Tipsy Squirrel Press the perfect name for our book label.

My 10 year old designed our martini-sipping squirrel logo. Because who needs a graphic designer when you live with a creative dreamer, right?  And that was it, with a logo and plan, we were ready to begin…

6. Collaboration

Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?! is our first venture as publishers. And it is my hope that the quality of the writing found within its pages, the deliciousness of the martinis, the quirkiness of its cover (because we all judge books by their covers, right?) and my partnership with Tara that will, hopefully, make this book a welcome addition within its genre. And as for our next book? We’ve got a few ideas on the burner! So stay tuned by following us over at: Tipsy Squirrel Press FB

 cropped-photo1.jpg

 UPDATE

7. Celebration

Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000038_00067]The book is here and it is being received so well by readers. We are all proud and confident that the journey is just beginning. Have you ordered your copy yet? Click here for more information.