What Happens in Vegas … {Reflections of a Non-Jealous Wife}

One of the highest hands in poker a Spades Royal Flush on a red

My husband is hot. Men envy his muscular physique. Women lust after his sexy, chiseled features. Grandmothers make comments like: “all men should look like that.” Even the babysitter goes all shy when he answers the door.

Whenever he strolls along, hand in hand, with our kids, he’s a magnet for admiring glances. You can just imagine what happened, back in the day, when he was adorned with a baby in a papoose. He got oogled and ogled, of course. Because women, of all ages, just love a hot dad.

He knows he’s gorgeous, though. It’s nothing new.

Just last month he was in Vegas for a work convention. After a night out with some colleagues, he went back to his room to find two bikini-clad 20-somethings in the hallway by his door. The girls, part of a bachelorette weekend, were staying in the room across from him.

They invited my husband to join them for a drink. IN THEIR ROOM!

He declined their offer and told them he was married. The one wet-T champion wannabe, responded that she was engaged (to an ever-so lucky man, I must add) and enquired if he was, in fact, happily married…

So, ya. This is my life! Not every minute but sometimes.

It’s beyond my control, though, because the extra attention and the potential temptations simply come with the territory. My husband is a handsome businessman who travels for work. It’s part of his job to be away from home and he certainly can’t stop the fact that he looks amazing in a suit.

Recently, I was telling the Vegas story to a friend. Her response was: “I would hate that. Don’t you ever worry?” I didn’t have to think about my answer, which was: “No, I don’t.”

The fact is, I trust in my instinct. I trust him. I haven’t any reason not to. And upon further contemplation, I have plenty of reasons to…

Let me count the ways:

  1. He had lots of freedom in his younger years to do what he wanted to do. So I figure, he’s been there and done that.
  2. He has a mind of his own and isn’t swayed to do things he doesn’t want to do. I know he’s capable of saying no.
  3. He’s a dedicated dad who prioritizes time with me and the kids. This lets me know that he values our family.
  4. He calls me when he’s away, to make sure the doors are locked and to ask what we ate for dinner. Yes, this is everyday hum drum chat but it tells me that he cares and that he’s thinking of us.
  5. He makes plans for us to go out, just the two of us or with friends. This shows me that he values our relationship.
  6. Sometimes he tells me that I look beautiful which obviously makes me feel… sort of beautiful.
  7. If he’s away, and depending on the time zone, he’ll text or call me to say good night, every night. I don’t actually, ever have to call him. The man is consistent.
  8. When women do put the moves on him, he tells me about it. This makes me feel like I’m “in the know.”
  9. He also buys me chocolate. Yes, choc-o-late! This indicates, without a doubt, that he gets me. Well, let’s not get carried away BUT he knows that I like chocolate and he brings it to me.
  10. And, finally, a subtle (yet fantastic) indicator that we are doin’ ok is, he smacks my butt.  He does this in passing, on a regular basis. Obviously, butt smacking= I want your ass, which is encouraging. Because as long as he wants mine, he’s less likely to want someone else’s. Am I right?

If that fades away, then maybe I’ll start to worry, but until then my husband has my trust.

So, bikini-clad girls, if you happen to be reading this and before you go chasing after my, or anybody else’s faithful, family-loving husband (I know such qualities do tend to make a man even more lust-worthy) there are a few things you should know.  My man is…one of those loud chewers. Seriously, even when his mouth is closed it’s like “NOM NOM NOM!” He also leaves his snot rags all over the house, you do not want to be around during hay fever season. And he has some serious know-it-all tendencies. Like, majorly. Why am I telling you this? Because… the grass surrounding him, isn’t greener. It’s just different.

So, here’s a tip from a non-jealous wife to all the classy ladies: “Tend to your own lawn or find a vacant patch of meadow where you can frolic wild, and free.” You just want a shag, you say?  A fun night? Well, to that, I reply: “a romp in the Vegas hay is nothing compared to sharing a life with an amazing guy like mine.”  And, in order to share a life with a guy like mine, you’ll need more than a bikini and a room key.

 

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