Labia Lamentations with Dr. Deloris Beaverton PhV

Dr. Deloris Beaverton is a feisty, feminist vagina. Yes! She’s an actual vagina who happens to have a PhV in Philosophy and a master’s in Vaginology. Born in the early 60s and raised in Dildo, Newfoundland this suave silver beav hitchhiked her way to Climax, Colorado in the mid-eighties. There she met her longtime partner Long Duck Shlong (of Seventeen Candles fame). The couple later relocated to Humptulips, Washington where Beaverton now runs Labia Lamentations, a successful Vagina Well-Being practice. Humptulips locals say that Hilary Cliton sought counsel at the clinic in the early 90s, which bolstered the town and its unique clinic into the limelight.

Dr. Beaverton now coaches clients such as: Queen LaQueefa and Glorious Hymen. She utilizes a holistic approach when working with patients and strives to boost confidence through positive self-talk, exposure to essential oils, and the use of simple breathing exercises. She also implements music and art therapy strategies into her sessions and has a particular fondness for the works of Georgia O’Queef. Continue reading

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